How precious is God’s Word to you?

As I handed her a New Testament I could see how precious this was to her.

Both of her sons have wounds that have needed to be treated. We have been cleaning and dressing them. During the time she has been coming, she has listened twice as I shared about the Great Physician who can heal our hearts from the infection of sin. After the second time, she prayed and said that she had trusted in Christ.

Yesterday when she came back, she requested a Bible to read. It has been very difficult to get Bibles as the only ones we can get are about $15 each. We’ve had to be very selective with who we give them to. Pastor has also shared that some sell the Bible they’ve been given because they are so expensive.

How difficult it is not to give someone a Bible when they ask! Oh! How it tears at my heart! We can go into any dollar store and get one for $1! How blessed we are!

I felt impressed to give her a Bible, but we don’t have any extra right now. I remembered about the New Testaments we were given, one for each of us. Knowing that it will be a little while before my youngest is able to read in Chichewa (and that she also has a full Bible), I offered it to her.

As I handed it to her, I could see how precious it was to her. When one of her boys picked it up, she took it and said “Careful with this,” while wiping it with her wrap. She started talking so quickly that it made it more difficult for me to understand what she was saying.

When I asked if we could get a picture together, she agreed.

After we took a picture, she said she wanted another picture, while starting to hug me and adding in English, “Hug.” So I gathered that she was wanting a picture hugging.

I didn’t realize how much I’ve missed hugs! I think it was the first hug I’ve had where I didn’t initiate it. My eyes started watering and I had a hard time holding back the tears and the smile.

I pray that she’ll read it and grow in the Lord. I pray that her family will come to know the Lord as well. She lives closer to Phokera, but a distance still to the Bible lesson so the Lord would really need to impress on her heart and give her the desire to walk that far to attend.

Pray for the Bible situation. We’ve been told that we may be able to get a few more of the New Testaments from the company that is printing them, but it will barely touch the need.

And when you’re at church hugging the cute kids, don’t forget the adults…you never know how much that smiling face may need a hug.

“She felt like a kindred spirit,” I said, to which Eric raised his eyebrows to.

“We just live completely different lives.” I added as thoughts about how differently our lives were came to my mind.

He responded with, “It’s just because she talked so much.”

I must admit he has a point. I thoroughly enjoyed how much she talked with me.

She didn’t just talk to see what I knew, and laugh in amusement.

She didn’t mock my poor pronunciation or grammar.

She didn’t just give up assuming that I was too ignorant to understand.

But she spoke with me as if we were friends. When I couldn’t understand, she would try using a different word…or I’d call Brother Shadrick over to help. Then we would continue on.

It was just what my heart needed, and the Lord so kindly gave it to me!

We met this sweet family Saturday while witnessing in Phokera. They were the first house we stopped at. We were warmly greeted by the family. Their little girl was such a doll and shook each of our hands once we were seated. During our visit each of their four kids greeted us in a similar way.

The Lord gave me liberty to share the Gospel with them. When we finished, the husband asked if they needed to go to a certain church or see a certain Pastor to repent.

I pointed to the three crosses Brother Shadrick had drawn in the dirt and replied, “On either side of Jesus were two criminals. One repented and asked the Lord to remember him in His kingdom. Jesus said that he would be with Him in paradise that day. Did he need to go to the tabernacle or a priest?”

“No,” the husband replied.

“Who did he go to?” I questioned.

“Jesus,” answered the husband.

“And that is who we need to go through. Salvation is not through a church or a man, but only through the Lord Jesus Christ.” I said.

They both prayed and said that they had trusted Christ, then we spent some sweet time visiting. The wife said that maybe now we are one as Baptists.

When we went to our Phokera Bible study, I anxiously looked for them as they said that they would come. I was a little disappointed when it was time to take the children to their tree for a Bible lesson and I hadn’t seen her yet. I had so looked forward to her sweet fellowship!

I always wait to dismiss the kids until I see that the adults walking down the path. Before I closed, she and her husband came and waited patiently at the back of the class. What a blessing it was!

I pray that the Lord continues to work in this family. What a blessing it would be to have them become faithful members!

The contrast is striking.

As we walked down the little path, the mountains were clearly visible. I could not help but be awed by how majestic and beautiful they looked! But at the end of the path instead of a mansion with this awesome view, was a little cement house. I wanted a picture, but I always hesitate to take pictures.

As we approached you could see a lady washing dishes in a plastic tub. Their yard was neatly swept.

I am often overwhelmed with the two extremes – deep poverty in view of such beauty!

I sometimes wonder if they miss the beauty in their backyard because of the dirt floors in their houses. Do they see it as I do?

The Lord is doing so much in our lives and in the world around us. If we look, we can catch glimpses of His majesty…yet how often do we miss seeing Him because our eyes are on the circumstances and troubles around us?

Saturday we went witnessing in a different area of Phokera. As we approach a house, seating, if available, is pulled out for us. The most common chairs are made of thick sticks with slightly rounded backs, and a slight triangular seat with three legs. Mats and little benches are also pulled out. Then as adults and little ones continue to gather, I have liberty to share the Gospel for about 30 minutes.

As we walked through the village, we always meet ladies with sticks stacked on their heads for cooking their meals, and there are always plenty of cows.

Sundays I continue to teach here in our village and also in Phokera. I was excited to see a few of the kids who had asked prayer concerning witchcraft come forward to be saved, but I have been concerned as I haven’t seen them since. I have continued praying for them as I know that even if they were sincere, they would be under attack by Satan. Kids continue to ask prayers for nightmares. Extremely scary nightmares seem so common here and even attack adults. I know it must be from all the witchcraft in the village. One of our kids asked me the other day, “Do people in America remember to pray for us?” How greatly we covet your prayers!

I probably shouldn’t say anything because it has been an ongoing problem…but, it seems like our water system has finally been repaired! Well, mostly. Eric still has to manually turn it off and on until one more switch is replaced. But that is a small inconvenience. We have had running water since Saturday night. We still haven’t removed the buckets of water in all the bathrooms because we are still in shock that we may actually have running water. The Lord has given us great grace through it all, but it is still so nice to not need to refill buckets, and be able to flush toilets as needed. Going without it for a while definitely makes you grateful for what a blessing running water really is!

This weekend, besides the pastors at the Bible college, we also had seven pastors from Mozambique cross the river and stay with us for the weekend. A couple have been crossing over to get discipleship materials from the mission. They have been using that to train men in Mozambique. No one believed them that there was a mission and American missionaries here, so their purpose in coming was twofold: to get materials and to take a lot of pictures to show others that it was true.

Before they left one pastor said how he wished that we had come to them as missionaries and that they would have been so happy if we had been theirs. They are begging for us to at least come visit them. We are not sure how that would work out because of our visas, but there is definitely a great need in that part of Mozambique!

Today the Lord allowed me to minister at the gate again, binding up the wounded and sharing with them about the Great Physician. After I shared, one lady thanked me and said that she goes to a church, but they have never clearly shared the scriptures or how to be saved with her.

If there is any clarity in the message I share, it is only because of Jesus Christ. My mind is often a cluttered mess, with so much pulling me in all directions. I am prone to forgetfulness, even mid sentence. But I am often reminded…

“And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for the: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” 2 Corinthians 12:9

At the gate sits a man.

He is here almost daily working as a security guard.

When I first came to Malawi, I thought that he didn’t like me. He always looked stressed around me.

I am not sure if he was like that because he was nervous about his job, whether the new missionaries would keep him on, or if it was the language barrier. Over time, I have come to look forward to his greetings.

He always greets me with a big smile and “Good morning, Madam!” Or “Good afternoon Madam! How is your home?”

Almost daily I would see him. He always stays there as we clean wounds and change bandages. Then stood quietly by as I witnessed to those we helped.

I knew many of our workers were saved, but I wasn’t sure about him, so I asked Eric if he knew. He told me that he had asked and that no one had witnessed to him before because they felt he would feel pressured to pray to keep his job. Everyone is very honorific here as well.

The Lord gave me a burden for this man. I began praying for him. How awful it would be for a man sitting at our doorstep to enter eternity without ever having someone tell him how to be saved?

One Wednesday I walked through the gate with the children’s church kids. They ran ahead. After we greeted each other, he turned to shut the gate.

I felt like the Lord tugging at my heart to tell something.

“Lord! I might get all tongue tied and make no sense! I don’t know much!” I continued walking, but couldn’t walk far.

Turning around, I called out to him.

“Abambo Lingston!”

My voice was so loud that it shocked me.

“Yes, Madam?” He replied with a concerned look.

“God loves you!”

A smile spread across his face. I can’t remember if he said anything.

That week I decided to learn a different phrase. I have learned some verses, John 3:16 is one, but I get so nervous that generally I get brain freezes halfway through it when I try to quote it publicly. It had to be something simple.

The next week, I was prepared with the sentence that I wanted to say…but still I was nervous.

Nervous that I’d mess it up…nervous that I would look silly.

He greeted me as usual. But I couldn’t say it. I continued walking, but the Lord wouldn’t let me go far. I turned around suddenly and called out to him again.

After I had his attention I said, “Jesus died for you!”

He had a look on his face that I couldn’t interpret what he was thinking.

The next few days he was nowhere to be seen. I thought, maybe I’ll see him Wednesday.

When I walked to the gate Wednesday, it was open, but Lingston wasn’t to be seen. I was beginning to wonder if he was opening the gate and hiding away from the crazy white lady! I was half relieved to hear he was sick!

When he finally came back to work, he greeted me with his regular smile. I told him that I was praying for him. His smile only grew.

Some time has passed. I continued to pray and wait for the Lord to direct me what to say further. As the Lord gave me opportunities to witness at the gate, I prayed that Lingston would also be listening.

Today, Eric walked in telling me about a man who came to the gate today. But I could not listen to his story because as he showed me a picture of the man, I noticed another happy man sitting beside him…Lingston!

“Lingston?! Did Lingston get saved too?!” I was not able to contain my excitement.

“Aren’t you going to let me finish?”

Eric shared how that while Pastor Nelson shared the Gospel with the other man, Lingston listened and also trusted in Christ!!!

What a blessing to see the Lord answer my prayers! I wanted to share while the excitement was still fresh in my mind.

My part was so small. What I said so simple and childlike, but I like to think that I was able to play a tiny part in planting a seed.

It’s not about us or me…but He allows us to be a part of it as we just obey His still, small voice!

“Though it was what I had been anxiously looking forward to so long, yet the consideration of being parted forever from my friends, almost overcame me. My feelings were those of a man who should suddenly be told that every friend he had in the world was dead.” Henry Martyn, Missionary to India and Persia

Reading this I thought, “Wow! This is exactly how I felt when we left for Ukraine!”

I remember scolding myself harshly in Ukraine and asking myself how I could be so sad when my greatest desire was to be a missionary!

This time I don’t feel like it has been as hard, but it is still there. The knowledge that those I love dearly, I may never see again.

Hugging my grandmother, I thought, “This may be my last hug.”

Waving goodbye to family, I knew that it may be our last meeting.

Walking through the airport, away from people as dear as family to us, I did not know if we would see them again.

On the mission field we can see our friends and loved ones back home moving on, living life without us (as they should!). But sometimes this can enhance the loneliness we already feel.

Missionary books have been such a comfort and encouragement to me! To know that someone else understands what I’m going through, that it is okay. I’m not awful or a failure for this thought!

A few things I learned in Ukraine that make this time easier…

1. Spending too much time on social media doesn’t help. In fact, often, it makes you feel much worse.

2. Others can’t make you feel better or less lonely. In Ukraine I remember a period where I thought I’d feel better “if someone would just message me!” Soon I received a sweet message from someone stateside and I found that, except for a fleeting moment, I felt just as lonely after. I went to the bathroom, laid on the floor and cried out to God to forgive me for looking to others besides Him to satisfy my longings! Sometimes, “vain is the help of men!”

3. Read (or listen to) missionary and Christian biographies. Outside of God’s Word, little has been an encouragement to me like reading the testimonies of those who have gone before me.

And when the times come when all you can do is lay on the ground and cry out to the Lord, it’s okay. “For a just man falleth seven times, and riseth up again…” Proverbs 24:16

Praise the Lord, we have a friend who sticketh closer than a brother! A friend who will never leave us nor forsake us!

“With Thee, O my God, is no disappointment. I shall never have to regret that I have loved Thee too well.” Henry Martyn

But, I am sure that I will regret that I have not loved Him enough!

“And every one that hath forsaken houses, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for my name’s sake, shall receive an hundredfold, and shall inherit everlasting life.” Matthew 19:29

Saturday soulwinning begins bright and early at 7 AM. Most things for us start at 7 AM – language lessons Monday, Wednesday, and Friday and Sunday services. They do this so they can avoid the heat of the day.

Because I knew we were going to the new section again, this time I wanted to be prepared for an impromptu lesson if needed, so I tossed some pictures and a review game in my bag.

We parked in a big open field. Kids were playing soccer in the back. Another group had started gathering around us. Eric said for the ladies, kids, Shadrick, and I to stay there and do a lesson, while his group went to a different area.

Kids continued to gather as we sang songs. Some adults and older teens stood listening a ways off and ladies walking past with their laundry on their heads stopped for a moment before continuing on their way.

When we finished and were waiting for the other group, Abigail knelt down and started drawing with a stick in the dirt. Almost immediately, she was surrounded. A little while later she came to me and whispered, “It was getting crowded! I just sit and start drawing and everyone crowds around!”

This week, Mercy had a loose tooth. She began wiggling it back and forth quickly with her tongue for the children crowded around her to see. They asked her to do it again, so she did!

That is the way it is almost everywhere we go. We are crowded and pressed upon, pointed and stared at. Some little ones are scared of us, and all find us amusing. It can be exhausting at times and it often reminds me of how Jesus must have felt…though His was much more!

In our village, the kids who have been requesting prayers for practicing witchcraft have been missing more Sundays. It is hard as I’d love to see them saved! There may not be a girl in the village who hasn’t been taught and pushed into witchcraft. Some boys, but especially the girls are taught.

Some of the customs here are so very, very wicked! The more I learn, the more my heart is grieved!

Local officials are aware and turn a blind eye…even the Christians are aware! Although it is difficult for me to even fathom, probably even many of the Christians are practicing these evil customs.

I feel like David. I want to run through the church, “Is there not a cause?! Is there not a cause?!” But instead, I just pray that the Lord will give us wisdom when teaching against them.

When we pulled into Phokera on Sunday, there was a boombox playing loudly. Brother Shadrick said that it was from a wedding and that we would probably not have many kids today. Praise the Lord, we still had a good group!

There are also many superstitions or beliefs concerning medicine and hospitals. Some have beliefs against taking medication even for malaria. Another lady who was coming to the gate with a very infected finger suddenly stopped. When Brother Shadrick visited her and encouraged her to come for regular cleaning and bandaging, she said she wouldn’t come anymore because she believed that it was a curse.

A lady from church went to a hospital for cataract surgery and her sight was restored in that eye. She was scheduled to have surgery on the other eye. Her relatives were so paranoid about the hospital and the surgery that they rubbed salt in her eyes causing her to go blind.

It grieves my heart knowing that, in some cases, it may cause death. Sometimes with little children. How I wish I could force or convince them that they need the medication or help to get better, but I can’t.

Just like we cannot force anyone to receive proper medical treatment, we cannot force anyone to trust Jesus as their Savior. We must just be faithful for we never know when our last opportunity might be.

There has been a little girl faithfully coming to the Phokera Bible studies. Her smile is as big as her head! She cannot be more than 4 years old, but has been given the responsibility of caring for her little brother of about 2. Some weeks she gets to stay throughout the entire lesson, sometimes the little one cries so much that she has to leave. Last week the little one was fussy. You could see how much she desired to stay! So she picked up her little brother and stuck him off the mat a short distance away and gave him his shoes, then she ran back to join the singing. I’m not sure if she was hoping he’d go home or what, but eventually she had to leave with him because he would not stop crying. She would take a few steps, then turn around longingly. How I wanted to do something to help her stay with us! This week she was able to stay through the entire lesson.

It is very common here for little ones to have the responsibility for younger siblings, and even for little ones only a few years old to be roaming around, even on the roadside, by themselves. I probably seem way too overprotective with my kids because they aren’t allowed to freely roam the village. I’m very thankful though, for the time I have with them!

And I guess I should probably share, I turned 40 this past week! Wow. It definitely happens as the Bible says, just as a vapor. One day you’re a teen, then you blink and you’re 40. Such a short amount of time to serve the Lord! No matter how young or old you are now, don’t wait to serve the Lord! Serve Him now right where you are! Because one day you’ll blink and your opportunity will be lost.

Even though I always enjoy the Phokera Bible study, frequently I consider not going as it can be exhausting…but I’m always glad I go!

Boys carried chairs, benches, boxes with Bibles and song booklets as we walked past the chief’s house down the path to the big tree. Mercy insisted on carrying her little friend the entire way. In front of the chief’s house, kids gathered to help spread the tarp for them to sit on during the children’s lesson.

After singing songs, the kids go with me for a lesson while the adults stay with Eric and Pastor Nelson. This week I noticed some ladies and kids sitting off in the distance. A couple weeks ago someone had come and pulled those kids from the lesson and said they needed to go home. When I shared it with Eric later, he told me that he had met their father a while ago. They were part of another religion and wouldn’t let him share anything. Praise the Lord they can still hear the Gospel message!

As I was finishing my lesson, the ladies from the Bible study started coming down the path towards us. The past two weeks after lessons they have surrounded me and each try to greet me. One lady greeted me then let out what I’ll call the “African scream”. They shake their tongue back and forth in their mouth while letting out a high-pitched scream. It is what they do when they’re excited or instead of saying “Amen.” I looked at her, then replied by doing my best impression of it…though my tongue can’t quite do that! Brother Shadrick happened to be right there folding up the tarp. He looked up in surprise and said, “Now THAT is funny!” Everyone started doing it and I had to explain to Eric once I made it back to Eric what all the commotion was about. My kids think that I need to do it at an American church when we visit, but I’m afraid I’ld give everyone heart attacks!

The water still has not been working well since it was “fixed”. I was able to do a couple loads of laundry a week in the washer and a few with buckets from the well, but have been unable to keep up with laundry. I was feeling a little sad for myself, especially since the man has dealt so dishonestly with us after we’ve paid so much! Sitting in my “woes”, the system fully broke. The Lord immediately brought Jonah and his gourd to my mind. Though not completely the same, He reminded me that He is still working and I am complaining about a gourd.

Eric has been saying that he could hire someone to help with the laundry, but I haven’t wanted to. I finally gave in and asked for help. I’m afraid my pride has held me back. I like to do my own work and I have a hard time asking others to help with it. I remember being like that even as a girl. One time in particular comes to mind. I was out with my dad in my favorite twirly-skirt, lots of tiers making it twirl really nicely. I was climbing over a fence when my dad said, “Jess, let me help you.” Quickly I replied, “I can do it myself.” And before he could do anything, over the fence I went. What I didn’t know was that my skirt was caught on the fence. There I hung, upside down for a few seconds until the tier seems ripped apart and plopped me on the ground! I guess I have learned my lesson at least a little as I’m letting someone help before I fall!

It feels somewhat humiliating as comments are already made to me about how “our women go to the fields early in the morning, then search for bundles of sticks for cooking…” and “we can do our own laundry.” I want to cry out, “I could too! If I didn’t have the challenges and stress of living in a new culture, learning a new language, homeschooling 6 different grades, balancing home responsibilities, cooking, and ministry…” They can not understand all that. It is again only my pride that wants to bring some of these things up in my defense. Instead, I see that this is another opportunity to learn of my Savior. Another chance to become more like HIM, for He was humble of spirit.

Instead, I see that this is another opportunity to learn of my Savior. Another chance to become more like HIM, for He was humble of spirit.

Some days I feel like I’m doing better, becoming more Christlike, learning the language, bonding with people – others I feel like I’m failing in every way possible! I am not a perfect wife, mother, or missionary, but praise the Lord I serve a PERFECT GOD who can use even someone like me!

Life here is so completely full. Every part of my day, every interaction, whether in my home or outside, feels like it has purpose.

Inside my home, I purpose to be present and available. Sometimes this means just listening when my kids need to talk – or cry…even if I’m so exhausted that I can hardly keep my eyes open. The challenge is listening without them noticing that I’m tired or they’d stop talking. I know this is important for any parent, but I feel even more so for them as missionary kids. They have the sweetest spirits, but moving can be hard on kids – especially to an entirely different country and culture.

One night I failed at this. Anna was chatting with me and I began to fall asleep and started talking about still being able to cook. She started laughing and asking what I meant. I apologized and said I was falling asleep because I was so tired. She said, “It’s okay! I’ll just talk until you are sleeping!” And she did! This has now become the family joke – that Anna’s voice is so soothing she puts me to sleep.

Some days I have a slight desire to slow down, but it is only a quick thought because I know that I wouldn’t be happy with anything else! I would probably feel the loneliness and foreignness of everything more for sure. But the downside of this busy schedule is that my “free time”, or any quiet moments that I may find, are spent sleeping instead of writing. Which is why I’ve missed writing.

Last week we went to the area of the village where the lady who was saved from witchcraft lives. I’ll call her Miss S. Miss S. looked so happy to see us that she ran towards us and gave us each a hug! A large group of kids met us as soon as we pulled into the village. I didn’t have any children’s materials with me, but we decided to do a children’s lesson where we parked because of the group that had gathered.

Off to the side, some ladies stood watching and listening. You could tell we were amusing to them. Because they heard us greeting in Chichewa, they wanted to test how much we knew. One approached Lydia and asked her name. When Lydia replied, she quickly ran back to the group and they all started laughing. Another asked Anna her age and grade. They cannot get over that a white person is learning and speaking their language.

This week, our church group went back to that area. Miss S. went with some of our ladies. They were rudely turned away from a few houses because of Miss S. and some accused our ladies of being part of the witchcraft group because they were with Miss S. I think this discouraged them a little, but their husbands encouraged them with the testimony of Paul…not everyone believed he was changed either! In another part of the village though, a lady told Brother Shadrick that she could see a big change in Miss S and was going to come to the Bible study.

Meanwhile, Eric and Pastor Nelson’s group was invited over to their little homemade bar area. Some set up bars from their home, often with homemade beer. They play loud music and put bottles around to show that they are selling drinks. Eric looked at Pastor Nelson and asked, “What do you think?” His reply, “Let’s preach to them!” The men listened intently as Eric preached. He was not mean, but shared with them the verse that no drunkard would inherit the kingdom of God. As he did, one young man in particular hung his head. When they finished, he prayed to receive Christ as His Savior. He then left his drink to follow the men as they continued witnessing at different homes. Sunday, he showed up at the Bible study!

Many make professions. Almost everyone will pray, partly because of cultural politeness. How exciting it is to see that people are still forsaking all to follow Christ!

Many of you have been praying for a young man named Jeremiah. He was hospitalized and given antibiotics to help with the infection in his foot. After about a week, he requested to be released so he could come to us daily to have his bandages changed, as they were not regularly changing them. Because of how severe his wound is, I have not been helping treat him. I did get to speak to him for a moment, and I am praying that the Lord gives me the opportunity to witness to him. Thank you for praying for him!

It is 1 AM as I am writing this. Laying here in the quiet, different things that are happening are coming to my mind. But I should close for now, and if the Lord allows, write sooner next time.

If you have read this far, I do not take it for granted. Thank you so much for your interest and prayers for us and the ministry that the Lord has given us!

And know, that while you may not be in Africa where it’s as easy to see, but every interaction you have inside or outside of your home has a purpose. The Lord has you where you are for a purpose. Redeem the time, for the days are short, and you do not know what tomorrow will hold!