“Though it was what I had been anxiously looking forward to so long, yet the consideration of being parted forever from my friends, almost overcame me. My feelings were those of a man who should suddenly be told that every friend he had in the world was dead.” Henry Martyn, Missionary to India and Persia
Reading this I thought, “Wow! This is exactly how I felt when we left for Ukraine!”
I remember scolding myself harshly in Ukraine and asking myself how I could be so sad when my greatest desire was to be a missionary!
This time I don’t feel like it has been as hard, but it is still there. The knowledge that those I love dearly, I may never see again.
Hugging my grandmother, I thought, “This may be my last hug.”
Waving goodbye to family, I knew that it may be our last meeting.
Walking through the airport, away from people as dear as family to us, I did not know if we would see them again.
On the mission field we can see our friends and loved ones back home moving on, living life without us (as they should!). But sometimes this can enhance the loneliness we already feel.
Missionary books have been such a comfort and encouragement to me! To know that someone else understands what I’m going through, that it is okay. I’m not awful or a failure for this thought!
A few things I learned in Ukraine that make this time easier…
1. Spending too much time on social media doesn’t help. In fact, often, it makes you feel much worse.
2. Others can’t make you feel better or less lonely. In Ukraine I remember a period where I thought I’d feel better “if someone would just message me!” Soon I received a sweet message from someone stateside and I found that, except for a fleeting moment, I felt just as lonely after. I went to the bathroom, laid on the floor and cried out to God to forgive me for looking to others besides Him to satisfy my longings! Sometimes, “vain is the help of men!”
3. Read (or listen to) missionary and Christian biographies. Outside of God’s Word, little has been an encouragement to me like reading the testimonies of those who have gone before me.
And when the times come when all you can do is lay on the ground and cry out to the Lord, it’s okay. “For a just man falleth seven times, and riseth up again…” Proverbs 24:16
Praise the Lord, we have a friend who sticketh closer than a brother! A friend who will never leave us nor forsake us!
“With Thee, O my God, is no disappointment. I shall never have to regret that I have loved Thee too well.” Henry Martyn
But, I am sure that I will regret that I have not loved Him enough!
“And every one that hath forsaken houses, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for my name’s sake, shall receive an hundredfold, and shall inherit everlasting life.” Matthew 19:29
fromtheheartofmrsmissionary.com 